


For the Team

by QueenPotatos



Category: Free!
Genre: F/M, M/M, More information on the notes, This is a life-time kind of fanfic, This might hurt a bit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-04-25 18:18:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4971388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenPotatos/pseuds/QueenPotatos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As a 68 year old Gou opens the newpaper, there is none but one single line that catches all of her attention. As she starts crying silently, Rin's granddaughter, Kylie, comes to her.<br/>"Granny…" the teens whispers, and comes closer. Her gaze is worried and attentive, it's the first time she’s caught her in tears. "Granny, what's wrong?"<br/>Gou's still blankly staring at the obituary column, "I've read the name of someone I know," she says softly.<br/>"Who?" the teen asks.<br/>"His name is Nanase Haruka."<br/>Kylie looks at the old woman with a distress she had rarely experienced in her short life. "Was he a friend of yours?"<br/>Gou bites back her tears, and swallows loudly; she turns her head towards Kylie's. "He's the man who stole your grandfather's dream away," she replies.</p><p> </p><p>Despite her perplexity Kylie is about to find out that behind every name, every life that had ended; there's a great story to be told.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Living

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. So.  
> I've been working on this fic for ages. Basically, it's about a RinHaru life-time story seen through Gou's perpesctive. It's going to be full of angst and for the sake of this story there will be some important OCs (you will gladly understand that cause of the architecture of the story).  
> The whole fic is planned but not all is written. Usually I do very long chapters but I have decided to cut them into short parts (smth like 4k at the most.)  
> I hope some of you will enjoy it in spite of the summary. I'm not even sure people still read major death character fics.  
> Anyway. Have a good read and leave a comment if you feel like it.
> 
> Edit 17/10/15 : I've changed Gou's age. Not very important but it fits better

# For the Team

 

#### 0 - Introduction : The living

#### I - Japan

#### II - Australia

#### III - Sunshine Coast

#### IV - Back to Iwami

#### V - Tokyo

#### VI - Epilogue : For the Future

 

 

* * *

 

# 0 - The Living

 

She hears, from where she sits, the endless coming and going of the waves hitting the shore. It's barely sunrise on the 23rd of July, the middle of summer, when the weather is most bearable. Gou takes a deep breath and fills her nose with the intoxicating scent of the Ocean. She stretches, and her back cracks; being an old lady doesn't have many advantages, she would agree on that, but Gou has always tried hard to see her glass half full when it has been, in fact, more than two thirds empty. Nonetheless, the serenity she has gained through all these years is a gift she would never wish to trade for the gift of few more years.

She takes her cup in her hands. Her tea is still steaming but isn't too hot; the perfect temperature for her – wisdom is also a thing that comes with old age, and Gou is very grateful of this gift as well. When she's almost done, she resumes her morning routine. She picks up the journal the paperboy brought and flips directly to her favourite page: the TV programs.

She reads in silence and turns the pages, one by one. She stops when she hears someone swearing inside the house. Kylie's just woke up it seems. _'Dammit!'_ she exclaimed as her little toe hit on the cupboard again.

"Granny, where are you?" the old lady hears from the first floor.

"On the terrace, my dear," Gou replies loudly. There are steps coming her way; a moment later a young girl appears in her pink pyjamas, holding a cup of tea.

"Morning, Kylie."

"'o'ning." The young one yawns. "God, it's so fucking early."

"Watch your tongue, young lady; just because it is summer break, doesn’t mean you can behave so freely."

"M'kay, m'kay… what are you readin'?"

"The newspaper."

Kylie sits loudly on the chair next to Gou, sighing, "Of course it's the newspaper, I'm not blind. I was asking what in particular."

"Well," Gou says, closing what she was reading for a moment to look at Kylie's blue eyes, "I’ve just finished with the local news, and now I’m heading to the… oh, how rejoicing," she adds sarcastically as she opens the newspaper again. "The obituaries."

The young girl bursts out, "I don't understand why old people read this every day."

"Because you're not there yet. But you'll see; when you're as old as me, you'll do the same."

"Yeah, sure, whatever you say." The teen stands up. "I'm gonna get some sugar. Would you like anything with your tasteless tea? Milk? An actual flavour?"

"No thanks, I'm fine with my few green leaves."

Kylie sends her a dark glare, and leaves the terrace. She comes back with a decent drink and a piece of cake they had baked together only yesterday. She stops at the bay window's step; the sight in front of her is breath-taking. The reflection of the sunrise on the Ocean, the calm breeze caressing the leaves, small cats playing with each other in the garden under their feet; her grandfather's old house really is the perfect place for holidays.

"Isn't it a beautiful day?" she says then, her voice full of optimism.

It's certainly not something her great aunt shares, at this point, for she is crying soundlessly on her rocking chair.

"Granny…" the teens whispers, and comes closer. Her gaze is worried and attentive, it's the first time she’s caught her in tears. "Granny, what's wrong?"

Gou's still blankly staring at the obituary column. She looks stuck on a single line, "I've read the name of someone I know," she says softly.

"Who?" the teen asks.

"His name is Nanase Haruka."

Kylie looks at the old woman with a distress she had rarely experienced in her short life. "Was he a friend of yours?"

Gou bites back her tears, and swallows loudly; she turns her head towards Kylie's. "He's the man who stole your grandfather's dream away," she replies.

Immediately, blue eyes fall on the Ocean. Kylie knows just too well how the topic of her grandfather can be dangerous, especially with his sister – she has heard very little about him, and never dared to ask for more.

"I don't get it." Kylie adds, confused, "If he hurt grandpa then why are you crying for his loss?"

There's another tear, running from the corner of Gou’s lined eye, falling on the paper. Unfortunately for Kylie, she will learn through the years that life isn't that simple; that the people you love the most are also the ones who can hurt you more.

"It's a long story," Gou says, tiredly. The news has made her feel awfully older in the blink of an eye. In front of her the Ocean brings her memories, good and painful ones, of a time when they all were just kids, teens, young adults; when everything was more simple, when their lives were careless and full of fun. It almost feels like it all happened yesterday and yet, now everything looks so distant, so far away. And yet, the Ocean is still the same.

"We should get ready," she says suddenly.

"Ready for what?"

"We're going to Tokyo."

"What? We're going to Tokyo?" Kylie repeats with a high voice.

"Haru's funeral is tomorrow. We need to be there in time." Gou tells her.

"But… but why? You've just said he stole grandpa's dream! Why should we pay homage to that guy?!"

Gou doesn't listen to her brother's granddaughter; instead she heads over her room and takes out the biggest suitcase she owns from under her bed. "Come on; pack your stuff. I'll explain on the trip."

 

What Kylie is about to find out, on the train which takes them to Tokyo, is that behind every name, there's a great story to be told.

 

 


	2. Japan - 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are there still people out there? Hahaha. Here starts the real deal.  
> As you'll see, the story is a continuous back and forth with past and present time, most of the time (but not always) from Gou's POV.

## For The Team

#####  _0 - Introduction_

#### I - Japan

#### # The Innocent Years

##### # The Unfinished Frame

##### # The Most Important Day

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

"I can't believe I've lost!"

"But Rin, it's okay, you can't win every time you know," their mother told him.

Gou was sitting in her bedroom next to the bathroom while their mother was drying Rin's hair after his bath. Gou had always been a very calm girl compared to her lively older brother, but she was also very curious about everything that seemed to happen around him.

"But, you have to see him! He's so, _so, so so so so_ fast!" Rin went on, and even from where she lay Gou could hear the admiration in her brother's voice. "It's like he belongs there, you know? In the water; it's like he breathes underwater!"

"Rin, my sweet boy, don't say such nonsense," her mother's sweet voice said. "Boys can't live underwater."

"He looked like a dolphin," Rin replied, but this time he sounded a little bit more distant, as if his mind had travelled back to the pool, to that boy he kept talking about. "I don't know his name, but maybe his parents called him Iruka?"

"Well, if he's as good as you say, you'll probably see him during the next tournament. You can ask him his name next time you meet him, how about that?"

"Yeah! That's such a good idea! Thank you, mom!" Rin exclaimed. The warmth of his voice made Gou's heart melt. "And then, can I invite him home?"

"Ah-ah, you shouldn’t put the cart before the horses, sweet boy," their mother laughed softly. "There, you're done."

"Thanks! Gou! Gou!! You won't _believe_ what happened to me today at the pool!" he shouted as he ran out and burst in her room.

"What happened?" she asked innocently, and waited for him to tell her what she already knew – but she didn't care, because the way his smile lit his face and the way his eyes sparkled like starts reflecting in the Ocean were all the things she needed.

 

Rin couldn't shut up about this mysterious guy who one day beat him in one of the races he usually never failed to win. And the more he talked about him, the more interesting Gou found him – contrary to Sousuke, who immediately found him annoying. Gou never stopped asking questions. What was his name? What did he look like? How strong was he? But Rin never answered. It was as if all he could remember from the guy was a blurry image which had left a vivid print on his skin, something he was incapable of removing.

It's funny how Gou's first impression of Haru, without knowing his name, turned out to be so accurate.

So of course, when Rin told them he wanted to change school in order to be with him, she was anything but surprised, and never understood why she was the only one.

 

 

[*]

 

 

"Look," She says. Kylie leans behind Gou's back with her hands on the old woman’s shoulders to keep her balance, and stares at the picture in her wrinkled hand. "This is Haruka, and here, hanging on his shoulder, it's your grandfather."

Kylie stares at the teenagers for a moment, without saying a word. "Were all the pictures of your time so ugly, or is it just this one?"

"Don't mock the old ones, my dear. You only have what you've got because we invented what came before," Gou replies in a grumpy tone. "Is this really the only thing that bothers you about this picture?"

The teen adds nothing. Instead, she bends a little closer and frowns. Gou, on the other hand, continues to look at the picture as if it was just a ghost of her love ones. She can't believe it might have been Rin's best memory. How sad, for a man, to have his best memory so early in his life.

 

 

[*] 

 

 

The morning after they won, Rin's luggage was waiting for him at the foot of the stairs; Gou, his mother, his grandmother - everybody was there to say goodbye. Their mother would be driving him to Tokyo and then, he'd fly alone to a completely foreign country where they didn’t even speak the same language. They were all terribly worried, of course, but in spite of all these anxieties, there was only one thing Rin was worried about.

"What if he doesn't remember me?" he kept on repeating; to her, to Sousuke, certainly not to their mother – as if he already knew it wasn't something he was supposed to say.

"I'm sure he will," Sousuke said. He looked irritated; he always looked irritated when they were talking about Haruka anyway. It was obvious he didn't like him and Gou wondered why for a long time. It wasn't jealousy; Sousuke was Rin's best friend and he would always be. What could it be then; if a boy was making Rin so happy, why would Sousuke hate him?

It was only later than Gou learned to distinguish irritation from worry and concern.

"I think he’s too into him," Sousuke confessed to her. "You told me he keeps barking on about that Nanase. I don't find him that fascinating, to be honest, but the way Rin looks at him, it's… I have a bad feeling about it. What if he doesn't get what he wants from him? How do you think he would have felt if Nanase had refused to join the relay?"

"He didn't," Gou answered. "He joined and they won."

"Yes, but he could have said ' _no_ ' to Rin."

"But he didn't!"

"Arg! That's not the point! Are you defending him?"

For her, from the day Rin had rushed from the bathroom to sit on her bed with stars in his eyes, Haru had become Rin's savior. The day she had that little argument with Sousuke about Haru she swore to herself that she would always protect them. She became all the more determined after Rin’s first winter back in Japan. The stars were gone. His smile looked forced. There was something dead inside his swollen red eyes, Gou could see it perfectly.

And then, Rin came back at last, and he found Haru again; and together they rediscovered each other. Haru saved Rin, and Rin saved Haru; or at least that’s how it looked in Gou's eyes. It was only when they were together that they could find their balance, as if they couldn't move on without the other following behind – whatever they did, wherever they went. When they both came back from Australia they had both changed so much without realizing it. But Gou saw it.

They were in love. Gou could see it. And she was also very sure that Rin knew it as well.

 

 

"Are you sure you want to go back to Australia?" she asked him just before the end of the year.

"Of course. That's where my future is," he answered her. He was packing his things. His luggage was filled with clothes – and clothes and oh, more clothes! – as well as some memories from people he cared for; a picture of their father, of their family, of the relay team they’d made when they were kids, some of Sousuke's letters…

"Are you really sure about that?" she insisted.

She knew he loved him and was loved in return; how could he run away from this?

Rin straightened his back and sat on his bed. "What's on your mind, exactly? You’ve been acting weird around me, ever since I came back from Australia."

"I just, I- it's nothing really. It's just, that… I don't know! I thought that you might have reconsidered the situation, since…"

Since what, exactly? She didn't even know what had happened; it was just a guess. She could have it all wrong.

She didn't add anything and neither did Rin. But somehow their thoughts had met somewhere in between, and unsaid words had turned into mutual understanding. He loved him, and he chose to leave anyway.

That was just the way they were; they didn't need to be physically together, as long as their dreams reunited them.

 

 

[*]

 

 

Kylie follows her grand aunt down the street towards the tram station. Gou's steps are slow, but it's even more complicated for the young girl to walk with the three bags in her hands and on her back.

"Do we really have to bring all this to Tokyo? We're only staying a couple of days - and why is it so heavy?" she whines.

The weather isn't helping either. It's already 10 am, and the sun starts to burn on their skins.

"Don't tell me you put all your water bottles in here."

"Of course not, not all… Maybe half," Gou replies maliciously.

Kylie lifts her head, this time not watching her feet, and looks towards the old lady - instead, she sees ocean blue eyes, eyes she hasn't seen for a long while, maybe years.

"Isn't that Yamazaki-san?" she asks.

Gou stops to readjusts her glasses. There's a man indeed, waiting at the tram station, sitting on a bench. His back is still strong, but his gaze has grown tired, disillusioned. The two girls eventually reach him; Kylie puts her bags on the ground while Gou halts, and waits for her old friend and lover to explain why he's sitting there, waiting for them.

It wouldn’t be thought Gou, with her frail silhouette, could impose so much presence, especially to a man built like Sousuke; and yet...

"You saw it too, didn't you?" she asks, but she already knows what his answer will be. "Why are you here? Are you trying to stop me?"

"No, not at all. After all, I've never been able to stop you from doing anything," Sousuke answers bitterly. "I guess I was curious about what you'll do."

"Well, I'm going to Tokyo, as you can see."

"I thought you would."

The silence that follows feels suffocating for Kylie. She has never truly understood who Yamazaki-san really is or was to Gou, but she talks about him a lot - and not once has something nice come out of her mouth.

"Will you come with us?" Gou asks him, eventually. The tram is coming, they'll have to part eventually.

"No. I'm sorry," he says.

"Don't say that when I know you're not. Don't you _dare_."

Gou motions Kylie to get on the tram. Sousuke helps her with her luggage. He gives the young girl an indecipherable look, the kind of one granted with the power to destabilize you, to make you rethink a whole part of your life. The old man named Sousuke is looking at her as if he knows her like the back of his hand, as if she is an old friend of his, as if she should know him just as much as he seems to know her.

The tram's doors close, and suddenly, the teenager feels utterly empty.

 

 

 [*]

 

 

_'Take your mark.'_

 

Gou held her breath. Her mother sat next to her and on her other side there was Makoto, Sousuke, and the whole gang - Rei, Nagisa, Ai and Momo. Rin and Haru were in adjacent lanes. They bent their knees and hit the water at the same time.

They tied that day again. They didn't break any records but the two of them won in a national 100m freestyle event in the middle of all the Japanese athletes. They were so young. They were only 18. They were far too young for what was coming for both of them.

As soon as they got out of water Gou stood up, and ran from her seat to find them.

She ran down the stairs to the corridor leading to the men lockers, dodging the security guards posted here and there, bumping into some TV reporters and other supporters. Her slender shoulders snaked in and out of the small crowd that had gathered in front of the pool. People were screaming, calling her brother's name; eventually she spotted the two of them being dragged in front of a camera for the national TV. Rin, of course, was crying, they had all bet on that. But Haru was also sharing his joy, with tears running down his cheeks, giving the audience the brightest smile Gou had ever have the chance to seen on his face. Their arms were curled around each other's waists.

As soon as the interview was over - Rin had barely spoken; his voice it seemed as though couldn't reach his lips - Gou saw them ducking away when they thought no one was looking. Rin was holding Haru's wrist, pulling him hastily further into the locker room. In the blink of an eye Gou lost sight of them. All around her people were moving around, pushing her away from where her brother had disappeared.

Gou felt like suffocating; still submerged by the euphoria of the race, her heart was madly beating in her chest, and the proximity of so many strangers made the air harder to breathe. But she wanted - no, she desperately needed – to see her brother, to see them both together, she needed to see them but for what, exactly?

Everything, from that point on, happened in a blur. Gou couldn't distinguish what the voices around her were saying. The words ended up to be a indecipherable gobbledygook which couldn't pass the hammering of her own beating heart, resonating in her chest and vibrating, traveling to every inch of her body, from the tips of her fingers to those of her long hair. After she extracted herself from the tumult, Gou raised her gaze exactly where she should have. Her eyes caught the glimpse of an foot, black skins with a red strip down the side reaching just above the ankle. It was Rin's foot, which had turned behind a corner. She ran. She wasn't the only one.

Her legs carried her further into the endless corridors leading to the locker rooms. Once again she saw only a flash of Haruka and Rin running away from the lights and sounds of the reporters. The more they fled, the more Gou wanted to reach them, to flee with them.

She wanted nothing more than their happiness. It scared her, at times, how deep her dedication was to those two people; but she wore, back when she was a child, to protect Rin and his bright smile, and if he needed to have Haru by his side to illuminate his face then, she wanted to be the first one to witness this small miracle.

She found them, eventually, just next to their locker room's door. Haru's back was facing the blue tiled wall without touching it, at least not yet. They were both breathless. They were looking at each other as if they were the only two living beings left in the whole world. Slowly, Rin lifted both of his hands and placed them softly on Haru's face, his touch on the skin light as a feather. Haru seemed hesitant for a moment, but from the distance Gou couldn't tell if it was because he didn't know what Rin had in mind or because he knew it too well. Her brother's thumbs brushed over Haru's cheekbones, and little by little Haru’s feet moved closer to the wall, until his back rested fully against the cold tiles. Rin kept moving forward, his eyes still glued on Haru's blue; they never let go of each other.

They had never kissed before; Gou would have known if they had had.

She hid behind a wall before their lips collided. Only the sound of their soft, light kisses came to her ears; without knowing Gou let out a sigh, a deep sigh she'd been holding since she first heard about the 'Nanase guy'.

_'Nanase's so fast! Nanase's so fast!'_ She could hear her brother’s child's voice, resonating inside her as if it had all happened only yesterday. Her eyes burned at the memory. They had gone through so much; from the edge of the swimming pool to the climax when their lips were just an inch away from touching. The hardest part was done, Gou thought at that time. She couldn't help the tears from falling, but she didn't try to fight them back. They were just the reflection of her exultation. She would have laughed if she could have, but she didn't want them to know she was there. In a way, spying on them, watching over them without them knowing was something she was dearly attached to, as if she was their guarding angel – and if he had known, Rin would have been furious.

Gou wondered, for maybe half a second, if she could claim the right to get a glimpse of the sight. She turned her head, pressed her cheek against the blue tiles, and eyed the two boys making out shamelessly in the deserted corridor. They were, truly, beautiful.

Hot breathe ran on tired skin. Rin sucked on the crock of Haru's neck, making him close his lids in bliss. Their bodies, entwined together, were majestic. Blurred eyes lost in ecstasy weren't even trying to see the man in front of them. They just needed their hands and skin to feel. Rin came back to take care of Haru's demanding mouth with his tongue out, asking for him.

They were more than just beautiful. They were magnificent.

Haru's hands caressed the small of Rin's back. Gou's eyes couldn't help but follow its path. And then, before she could even understand why, she retched. Her heart skipped a bit and she couldn't find her voice to shout. It was too late; the flash she saw coming from that paparazzi at the other end of the corridor immortalized their passionate kiss for the rest of the world.

 

 

[*]

 

 

"Granny," Kylie says as the tramway stops. "Granny I think we should get out at the next station."

Gou doesn't reply on the spot. Her mind is still lost fifty years in the past. Even after all this time, the guilt hasn't gone away. What would have happened if she had burst out of the corridor, catching them together, instead of hiding her behind that wall? Would the future have been any different if only she had made the right choice?

"Yes, we should," she replies a minute later.

Certainly, things would have turned out differently for them all.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw, you can still follow me on my tumblr (doctor-queenie.tumblr.com)


	3. Japan - 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story is so young omg. The chapter is actually cut into half. I hope it still makes sense.  
> This chapter also marks the start of SouGou.  
> Important notes at the end.

## For the Team

 

####  _0 - Introduction_

#### I - Japan

#####  _# The Innocent Years_

#### # The Unfinished Frame

##### # The Most Important Day

 

* * *

 

 

 

The next train for Tokyo is in 45 minutes.

Gou sits on the bench while Kylie buys them some food for the trip. The old lady stares blankly in front of her before realising her eyes have fallen on a young couple being lovey-dovey with each other.

She screws up her eyes; they make her want to throw up.

This doesn't have any relation to the fact that, when handing money to Kylie for their food a very old picture that had been forgotten at the bottom of her old wallet fluttered out to the ground ; not at all.

It's a picture of her and Sousuke, being lovey-dovey.

Gou takes the picture from the floor, and after recognizing which one it is, immediately regrets it. But what's done is done. She sighs; today's going to be a day of remembering, so while she's at it, a little rewind on her own chaotic romantic life seems to be unavoidable - considering that it had, actually, a lot to do with Rin and Haruka's.

"So, what are you thinking about, Granny? You look grumpy," Kylie cleverly says. That girl never misses a thing. God, the trip is going to be so amazing.

"Boys," she replies sternly.

It elects a laugh from the young lady. "Aren't we all?" she asks.

Sure, Gou could spend the rest of the trip explaining that she certainly isn't thinking of ' _boys'_ as a 17 year old girl would do, but she decides in the end that it's definitely not worth the try.

 

 

 [*]

 

 

Sousuke's look was way too serious to assume there wasn't anything wrong going on. It's been two days since the photo had been published. There were still some paparazzi lurking in the corner of their house. Rin of course, had stayed in his own room. Just a couple of days, his agent had ordered him, just time to fix what they had done.

Gou had never been so furious. There was nothing to _fix_. They were just in love, for god sake!

"Hey," Sousuke said, "How’s it going?"

Gou was in the kitchen making lunch. Her hands were busy with the knife, slicing the tomatoes for a salad. There was a quiche in the oven ; a pleasant smell was starting to fill the room. "Not too well," she replied. "But it could have been worse, I s'ppose."

"Did he tell you anything?"

Gou took her eyes away from the work surface. "Nothing you don't already know, if it's what you mean."

Sousuke unceremoniously threw a magazine on the table behind her. It was 'the' one, where the picture of Rin and Haruka’s heated kiss had been published. "I think you know more than what you're willing to admit."

He opened the magazine to the baneful page. Gou closed her eyes, refusing to see on paper what she had already witnessed with her own eyes.

"Come on, don't be shy; it's not the first time you're seeing it anyway, is it?"

Sousuke's finger pointed at something very particular on the picture though; just above Rin's hair there's was something strange, something small and blue, which Gou immediately recognized as her fish hair band. She gasped. If Rin ever found out about it…

"Seems like that photographer wasn't the only one spying on them."

"I just wanted to congratulate my brother," Gou defended herself. "What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing. I just said you knew more than what you've told me," Sousuke retorted.

"So what, you're confronting me because I lied to you?"

"Yes and no ; it's just…I saw what their agent said, in the press. It's making quite the racket internally you know. He told the managers that they had kissed on a whim, brought by the adrenaline of their win. Do you actually believe that version? You were there," Sousuke insisted as soon as he saw Gou dropping her gaze on the tomatoes again. "You saw it happen. Did it really look like they kissed on a whim? Or-"

"I don't know," Gou answered. "I wasn't looking the entire time."

"See, you do that again. You do it all the time."

"Do what?"

"Protecting them."

Gou sent him a dark glare.

"Or at least, you think you are."

"I'm not doing anything !" Gou argued. "I did not interfere. Whatever is happening between them, it has nothing to do with me."

"And you think that's protecting them? You think not saying a thing will protect Rin? Look where it lead him!"

Gou felt ready to throw the knife she was holding at his face if only it wouldn't have injured or killed him immediately. "This is none of my business. It’s not yours either," She told him bitterly. "Now if you only came here to say horrible things like these, you can leave. You shall leave. I don't want to see your face again today." 

She turned her back and waited for her ears to catch the sound of footsteps leaving the kitchen but nothing came. Sousuke didn't move, not yet; and eventually she sighed. Once the salad was finished she put it in the table and sat in front of where he was still sitting.

"I'm worried about you," he told her.

His declaration took her by surprised. "Huh?"

"You should always tell me if there's something bothering you."

She could only blink. Sousuke left shortly after that.

 

Rin came down a couple of minutes later.

"You should have told me you were cooking! I could have helped!" Rin whined as he set the table. "Is mom coming home to join us?"

"Not today," Gou replied. "Oh, and I won't be there tonight, there'll just be the two of you."

"Ooh, where are you going?" Rin teased her.

She stuck out her tongue. "It's a secret!"

Rin laughed and adjusted the glasses for them to be in front of the plates. "He's better be nice to you, or I'll kick his ass."

"Hey! I never said I was going on a date!" Gou exclaimed.

"Oh, so you have a date! Fantastic, I didn't know! Why didn't you tell me about it sooner?"

She hit her brother's head with a cushion. Oh, how much she hated him sometimes…

But she wouldn’t, she never could. Not when she saw him forcing a smile, not when she could read in his dull eyes how tormented he truly was. They were back in middle school, back after the first winter passed here. Rin was walking on the verge of a precipice and did his best to look as serene as possible but his feet were close to void.

She was so worried about him, about them both.

 

Rin flew back to train in Australia a couple of weeks after that.

 

 

 [*]

 

 

They sit in front of each other. There are two strangers on the seats next to them and even if Gou doesn't mind that, on the other hand, it makes Kylie uncomfortable. She had planned on drawing during to trip, but doesn't feel like taking out her canvas in front of people she doesn't know.

Gou eyes her, and quickly sees the problem. "You've brought your drawings! How nice. Show me," she says pretty loudly. Kylie looks up, offended. Before she has time to open her mouth Gou's hand is on her notebook ; she opens it and turns the pages, one by one.

"How dare you!" the young girl starts to say, before adding in a hush - because people stare at them, "You have no right to spy on my things."

"Oh oh oh, let's see if I can't."

Old stubborn Gou won't take any of Kylie's demands. She smiles exultantly as she exposes to the world her grant niece's art. Nonetheless her find is nothing really new to her; she has known for quite a long time now how talented Kylie is with a pencil. The bird on the page looks as if he's about to spread his wings and fly away. Her flowers, so pretty and vivid, make you want to pick them to embellish a bouquet.

Her last artwork is a watercolour. Gou remembers well the day it was done. Kylie had painted the Ocean at sunset. Just by looking at the picture, Gou almost feels at home.

Her eyes then fall on Kylie. Her cheeks are red with rage and embarrassment. It's ironic, how she is the one to have inherited Haruka's gift when his own son can't write kanjis properly.

 

 

 [*]

 

 

Once a month Gou would visit everybody at the Capital. She loved Tokyo, but the city was too big for her to live in. She wondered quite often how Haruka was coping with that.

She found out he was pretty good with it. He didn't seem to mind the crowd.

One day, they went to a public park; it was so hot that they had chosen to lounge near some water features. Haru was cooling the back of his neck by scooping water and trailing his hand across the overheated skin when Gou came to find him.

"Aren't you hot with you shirt?" she asked him.

He simply shrugged. "It's not like I can take it off."

"No, that's for sure," she laughed softly. "How are things going? Have you seen Rin recently?"

"Ah, a week ago. We had a couple of days of common training."

"Glad to hear!" She enthused with a smile. "How was he?"

"Fine."

"Good!"

Haru tapped on the back of his neck again with a handful of fresh water. He slid his hand around the front to wet the crock of his neck and his throat. The movement was subtle and mechanic, something Haru didn't think about; he did it so mindlessly that maybe he forgot something, rather important, that was now showing on the left side of his neck.

Gou swore she'd just seen a hickey.

It wasn't new; its form could more or less be discerned from the natural tone of his skin. Its centre was still a little bit dark at some place but the rest was getting yellow.

Could it have possibly been done, what, a week ago?

Oh yes definitely it could!

She couldn't believe it!

It meant, it meant that…the two of them…they hadn't let go of each other!

Gou tried to refrain from showing her enthusiasm at the big news, but poorly failed it seemed, considering the look Haru gave her. She automatically set her gaze on his neck, and cursed herself for doing so. Haru brought his hand to the hickey, protecting it from her view.

The words Sousuke once spoke to her came to mind; maybe they could talk about it. Maybe it would make him feel better to know that he - that they - weren't alone; that there was someone else out there who supported them wholeheartedly. She was about to say something when Nagisa announced his arrival by splashing water on them both. From there on, Haru had never felt more distant, more hesitant to meet her eyes. It was as if he was trying very hard to hide something from her. But why? She was Rin's sister! Of course she was alright with them; as long as Rin was happy then-

And Gou wondered for the rest of her stay if this hickey could have been made by someone other than Rin.

 

 

 

As times went by, it became more and more difficult for Rin and Haruka to spend time together, alone.

Hotel rooms suited them for a while, but only because they had agreed on it being a temporary thing. When it didn’t turn out as nicely as they had imagined in the beginning, Haru started to voice his worries, and Rin agreed; but finding a viable solution was an entire other thing.

"How long do you think we'll have to hide?" Haru asked one night, their naked bodies linked, hidden from the rest of the world by a single white sheet.

Rin kissed his hand and put one of his fingers into his mouth. He always did those kinds of lascivious things to distract Haru from having those kinds of negative thoughts. He wasn't the one who talked the most out of them, but none of Haru's words were ever spoken lightly.

"I don't know. Not forever. I couldn’t bear it."

Haru crawled deeper into Rin's arms. "The last time we were together seemed like forever to me." He murmured against Rin’s skin.

"Hey, you're sweet tonight," Rin remarked with a playful tone. "What happened to you?"

"Dunno'. I'm just tired, I guess. I missed you."

"Then just rest," Rin breathed in his ear. "Tomorrow will be another day. We'll figure out something that’ll suit everyone."

"I didn't mean I was physically tired."

Rin let the unspoken truth hidden in his heart and chose to press Haru harder against his chest instead. He didn't need to be an empath to notice how unhappy Haru was. They both were. This was just a misunderstanding, something they needed to properly talk about with their coach. Times were changing. It shouldn't be any problem for them to be who they were and to be together. At least, it'd better not be; because if it was a problem, Rin couldn't think of another solution that wouldn't break his heart – both their hearts.

He ran a finger through Haru's hair, combing it, and then dropped a light kiss there. Soon Haru was asleep, and Rin took the chance to call the only person he could think of to give him support and affection. Seconds later, Gou was awakened by her phone vibrating on her bedside table.

 

 

 [*]

 

 

"Can you tell me more about grandpa?"

Gou wakes up from her short nap. They have been traveling for an hour now. The wheels of the train shudder on the rails. They have ended up in a old wagon to Gou's displeasure – especially for her back.

"What do you want to know about Rin?"

"I don't know. What's relevant? I know he was a great swimmer. He won gold medals. I saw them in the living room when I came to visit him. I remember them; they were shining so much! It was so pretty."

Since she was very little Kylie had always been attracted by jewels and things that shine. Gou has always thought it was one of her grandmother's traits, but maybe she had gotten it from Rin as well. After all; he didn't choose Addison as his wife for nothing.

"He was a great champion, yes. He went to the Olympics and won the gold twice, silver three times. I think he won some bronze as well but he threw them away."

"Why? It's awesome to be the third best person in the world at something," Kylie says, looking at her drawing, disappointed - when she really has nothing to be ashamed of.

"Well, it wasn't for him. That was the kind of man he was. When he had something in mind-"

"What was his dream then?" Kylie cuts her off. "You said that old man we're going to Tokyo for stole his dream away, but what was it? He had been an Olympic champion and won gold medals; what could be better than gold?"

Gou turns her head to look out of the window.

"The essential." She answers.

Her words leave the young girl in haze, and she keeps staring out of the window soundlessly for a large part of the trip.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since there are RinHaru week coming soon and Secret Santa exchange I won't update this fic as often as I would like to. Juts be aware that the next update will be kind of late. Sorry for the bother but I'll write more cheerful things in between :) See ya next time ! (and you can follow me on my blog as well)


	4. The most important day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are mistakes that seem to recur every now and then; and even if they know already how wrong it is, there's no turning back for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay happy rinharu week!  
> Since the theme today is for the team I found it was suitable to update today...  
> Even if this chapter is a little bit...bah, you'll see, I don't wanna kill the surprise. Sometimes It's better not to be warned.

## For The Team

#####  _0 - Introduction_

#### I - Japan

#####  _# The Innocent Years_

#####  _# The Unfinished Frame_

#### # The Most Important Day

* * *

 

2008, the fateful year.

 

The year the Olympic Games took place in Pekin, from the 9th to the 21th of August. Rin had a calendar over his bed; an each day he marked a red cross on each day that passed until the time came.

At the beginning of the year their training regimen had started to look like hell on earth. The whole Japan Team was staying in the same hotel, their schedules were timed to the minute and everyone was feeling on edge as the announcement of the team that would actually participate in the Games loomed.

For Rin and Haruka, there was another problem, another source of tension. They could feel behind their backs their coach’s unremitting gaze, and even when he wasn't the one looking they could guess the hesitant glances from their team which never lasted too long – in fear of being rude, or of finding a truth they feared of discovering. Every second they didn't spend in the water was a constant fight to avoid the other, entirely. No touch, no look, no words; those were the rules they chose to live by for the next couple of weeks before the announcement. The whole training session had turned into a human pressure cooker, where any misstep could bring them closer to void.

Haru felt like a tightrope walker crossing the Pacific Ocean surrounded only by seagulls. All of this was an aberration. Water was taking Rin away from him. It had nothing to do with sports, or performance; how could them being in love cause such a scandal? It was, truly, none of their business; as long as they performed well in the water, what was the big deal?

Unfortunately, Haru's frustration made his time drop drastically. The water felt dull to him again.

 

"I don't know what's wrong with him," Rin lied on the phone. Gou called him almost every day. It was his only saving peace. "I feel like he just, - no, it'd be insane…"

"Like he what?" Gou insisted.

"…Like he doesn't want to swim anymore."

Gou laughed, despite the dramatic situation. "Yeah that's insane, brother; just as insane as you liking sweets all of a sudden."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

Even from across the phone line Gou could easily tell when her brother was lying. She couldn't wait for the next national tournament to happen so she could see him face to face again – he wouldn't be able to lie if he looked at her directly in the eyes.

 

The race was anything but thrilling. Rin and Haru did alright, but nothing extraordinary. They placed 3rd and 4th in the 100m free race. Rin did better in the 100m butterfly – he got 2nd, which, in that category at least, secured him a place in the Olympics.

Their results were lacklustre and yet, as soon as Haru's body left the pool he felt lighter than a feather and filled with the kind of happiness one felt after completing an unavoidable and harsh task before he could, finally, move forward. Times didn't count, or at least not the ones in the pool. Only Rin would matter from now.

Him, and only him; it was all Haru could see now that the tension from the weeks they had gone through without touching died down like a soufflé. The whole team was seething with excitement; the locker room was quickly filled with laughter and loud chatters. Those who were unhappy about their performance had left without a word, so that only euphoria existed within those four walls. Everyone was ecstatic; and Haru wondered for a moment as his eyes mindlessly sought for Rin's if they all felt like him, if getting out of the pool this afternoon after the last race had been a long-awaited release as it had been for him.

His eyes found Rin; he was talking with some of their friends - they were mostly Rin's to be honest - and smiling the way he’d been forcing himself to since they had come back on the team together. There was a bottle of shampoo in his hand. He walked toward the shower and Haru followed him, forgetting his own.

Every one of his steps bringing him closer and closer to Rin made him feel hot just like the way racing against him used to. There were very few of their teammates still washing themselves, the most of the group had already finished, it seemed. Haru didn't know how much time he had spent gazing blankly at the ceiling, or at Rin's back; maybe he did for whole minutes, maybe people came to ask what was wrong without him noticing.

Haru chose the shower just next to Rin's without giving him a look. When he saw Haru had nothing to actually wash with, he lent him his shampoo without a glance as well. Automatism, stolen glances, the ache of being only a few meters away and pretending to be something they weren't; Haru let all of those things out of him with a sigh that he knew only Rin's ears could distinguish from the flow of water hitting the tiled floor.

Haru gave him back his shampoo. Their fingers brushed when Rin took it back and put it on the floor next to his feet. He laughed gloomily, it made Haru frown, and Rin answered his unvoiced question.

"I can't remember the last time I held your hand," Rin murmured bitterly. His hands went to his hair where they started to scrub the red locks clean. Foam slipped from his hair to the nape of his neck and down his back; Haru watched the white bubbles’ journey with hint of jealousy. He who could not let his finger travel down that path anymore, he envied them.

"I can't remember the last time I touched you," Haru replied, just as softly. He saw from the corner of his eyes the last of their teammates leaving the showers, and knew by the way Rin looked back at him that he had noticed it too.

Rin reached his arm over and curled it around Haru's waist, bringing him under the same shower. His other hands caressed Haru's chest, taking the foam with it, and started to rub across every inch of Haru's skin roughly. Haru held his breath each time Rin's palm brushed over him, made him ache in more than one way; the feeling was either too much or not enough, and Haru couldn't decide what the right choice to make was, here with all of their team celebrating the end of their training, with just a thin wall hiding them from the rest of the world.

Rin's scent and the warmth of his skin made him decide. There weren't much of a choice to begin with; as always when Rin pulled him into his embrace Haru could only follow. His nose on Rin's skin breathed in, trying to take all of his scent away for it to remain his and only his for the rest of the day. Rin rubbed his back with circular motions; his touch became soother the further down he went and approached the small of his back and the waistband of his drenched swimsuit. Haru sighed into the crook of Rin's neck and they both shivered slightly. His blue eyes were closed to fully take in the return of Rin's hands running on his body as they were only made for him. He, as well, brushed his fingertips over Rin's skin - on his collarbone, his pecs, his abdomen - his moves shy and hesitant as if he feared he didn't know how or if he'd ever be able to stop.

Haru felt moist lips closing around his earlobe and arms enveloping his shoulders. Rin dropped small, little and not-so-innocent kisses just behind his ear. At this moment Haru knew he wouldn't be able to resist his want. They’d been holding back for too long, and he missed Rin more than air, and more than water. It felt like he’d lost his oldest friend along with his ability to swim freely. He kissed Rin, and was kissed back forcefully. His back hit the wall and his legs straddled Rin's hips; they’d done that so much in the past but automatisms were the only things that remained from those weeks filled only with the unbearable hole the other had dug by leaving.

They never did things by half, be it swimming or love. It had always been all or nothing; they couldn't go in between and as usual they both chose to go for gold without a second thought for the consequences. But the voices had quietened in the locker rooms and they were both so sure that they were alone. In the very end corner of the showers no one would see them, no one would hear them if they keep quiet. They both needed it so desperately that they wouldn't be able to stop even if they wanted to.

Haru loved the way Rin kissed him, always; as if it was the very last time, as if they were bound to die the moment their tongues unlocked. That was completely stupid, Haru thought, but something Rin's romantic heart could come up with, assuredly.

"I've missed you so much," Rin murmured in his ear. He went for Haru’s neck next, not waiting for a reply when it wasn't needed; he saw the answer in the depth of Haru's eyes, in the way his mouth parted to welcome his own and by the force in Haru's arms, dragging him closer to his face. His groin, hot and tense was talking for him as well, manifesting his lust without words better than any of his sighs.

"I want you," Rin added, something Haru already knew; but he was the kind of person who voiced his thoughts concerning these things aloud. Maybe it was because he found it romantic, maybe because as Haru never really spoke about his needs one of them had to take the lead, and Rin took this role willingly since he knew, too well, how Haru wouldn't want to.

Rin's hand wandered down his thigh, caressed the fabric of his swimsuit to make Haru understand it's not what he wanted, that it's still not enough, that he wanted Haru whole and naked without any artifice. Rin went down on his knees, his mouth never leaving Haru's toned skin as he proceeded south until his pointed teeth reached the hem of his swimsuit. Haru closed his eyes once more; he breathed heavily when he felt the fabric dropping to his ankles and easing his aching need.

He could feel Rin playing with him, nuzzling his shaft without really touching it; Haru found him cruel for teasing like that when it had been so long. He couldn't remember when the last time Rin had sucked him was. How had they managed to get through all this? When he revisited the past weeks in his memories and everything they’d had to endure, the task seemed almost impossible. Back in the days were they spent all of their stolen nights together, melting their worn out bodies into one, Haru would have bet on his life that they wouldn't have been able to hold the farce for so long. When Rin licked on his length, his hot tongue feeling somehow cold on the sensitive skin, Haru truly wondered how he could have lived without him. It seemed funny, and also tragic - mostly tragic - how human beings could adapt with such ease to the most horrific circumstances in order to survive.

It didn't take long for Haru to come in Rin's mouth. He had lost most of his endurance and, to be honest, he hadn't tried to hold back at all. Rin's tongue and teeth caressing his manhood had punched him back to reality, to their reality; he was utterly head over heels with Rin, with his whole being, and it was only him who could pleasure Haru this much, transporting him in another world where he could only see the stars and Rin's burning eyes, devouring him. He could have him all. As Haru recovered, he would have gladly given all his body, every inch of his skin and of what has hidden behind to Rin, and only to him.

He heard him swallow his cum, but he did not hear what Rin heard - a 'thump'; something that fell on the floor, something heavy, something like a bag. When Rin turned around, some of Haru still resting on the corner of his mouth. There was one of their teammates - one they never really talked with much - with his eyes wide opened, nude and naïve in front the secret they had tried so hard to keep between them.

The undesired peeping tom left without a word.

"Rin," Haru called him, because he had no idea what had happened and why Rin's eyes were so suddenly set on something other than him when he needed them so much. "Rin, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Rin lied.

"You look tired."

They both were. Dark circles under their eyes, sharp cheekbones, dull eyes; there were countless signs of the exhaustion they had failed to see on the other. Hell, they were total wrecks. There was something broken in Rin's eyes, Haru saw, something terrified. And if Rin was scared then so was Haru, but he chose to ignore the dread. "You look so tired." He caressed the skin just under his eyes as if washing away tears that weren't there yet. "I love you so much," he whispered. "I adore you so much."

He worshiped him, and he always would, even to death, even in death.

 

[*]

 

There's a piece of violin music playing which Gou can never remember the name of but enjoys a lot. She usually listens to it alone with her windows wide opened and her eyes facing the ocean. It gives her a feeling of serenity and of absolute beauty, the kind that cannot be applied to men but only to things that go beyond humanity - Nature, Love, the Ocean. It touches her, always, in the same way.

One day she reads in a book that the composer wrote this play to portray the unrequired love a poor man had for a lady who was part of another world, one he couldn't reach. The song is a message of hope, it's a message the man sends to the one he loves, hoping that love and music transcend any barriers, no matter what they are, no matter if they're real or not.

She always thinks of them when Gou listens to that piece of classical music, always. Today on the train there is no exception. Kylie is sleeping in front of her, and Gou then allows herself to think of them, and cries.

 

 [*]

 

 

"This is just a nightmare," Rin muttered bitterly. "I'm in the middle of a nightmare and you're going to wake me up and tell me all of this isn't real. That it isn’t real, or that it's a really, really bad joke."

Rin’s body was curled up against the wall his bed was pushed against. The blanket and pillows were scattered all throughout his childhood bedroom. They had been in Sydney when the news broke. Sousuke and Rin chose to fly back to Japan as soon as they knew.

"Just calm down," Sousuke said, in vain. It didn't seem to have any effect on her brother. Gou knew better. There was only one person who could do miracles with Rin. Why didn't they call Haru? Oh, that's right; he wasn't answering his phone.

"How? Tell me! How can I stay calm?!" Rin shouted. His hands searched his bed but found nothing to throw at his best friend's face. "We got suspended ! They took us off the national team for the Olympics!"

Gou's eyes couldn't leave the ground. She felt mortified. She had wanted, for so long, for the two of them to be happy together; and yet the moment her dream had come true, it had destroyed Rin's.

"That's unfair," she murmured as she left the devastated room with Sousuke. "This is so unfair!"

That night she cried herself to sleep in Sousuke's arms. When she woke up in the middle of the night with stiff back he was still there, enveloping her in his lap. She remembered that she spent the rest of the night watching his face, wondering how she could have missed, through all the years, all his delicate attentions towards her. The fact that they started dating only a couple of days after the announcement of Rin and Haruka's suspension from the team for the next Olympics Games passed unnoticed.

 

"Rin," Sousuke addressed him a couple of days later when he still obstinately refused to leave his room. "Look, this is not the end - not for you anyway. You’re only 18. You'll be 22 in four years; you'll still be in top condition. You can’t hope to win a gold medal this year when you're not even the fastest in your own team."

Against the odds Sousuke was able to find the exact words Rin needed to hear to get out of his rage. Gou silently witnessed, flabbergasted, as Rin's body uncurled and stretched back into a human standing form.

"You know this wasn’t your year. You'll get over it, both of you; you'll train harder than any other swimmers in the world and you'll come back stronger. In four years you'll be ready. Now, you aren't. You know that. So there's no need to wallow in self-pity. Get out of your room, get your shit together and move forward, like you always do, and better than anyone else I know."

It was that moment when Gou fell in love with Sousuke - well at least the first time. But this kind of love she felt for him never went, and even with time, grief and anger, she never forgot the time Sousuke saved Rin from himself.

"Thank you," she told him, and then kissed him with her hands behind his neck. She had never meant words more than those she said to him so dearly.

They were happy. A perfect, cute couple, like the ones in the American movies Rin loved so much. Their honeymoon phase never seemed to end.

That's probably why Gou contented herself with fixing Rin, and that was probably her biggest mistake. Because Rin was not fully Rin without his other half.

 

"Huh!? You're going back to Australia?" she asked him.

It was on a Tuesday morning, - she would always remember that. Gou was still wearing her pink night dresses with cute bears and her hair was a mess. Rin on the other hand was fully clothed, and even had his cap screwed on his head.

"I’ve discussed it with Sousuke; he thinks it's the best thing to do right now for us."

"What ?! You're bringing Sousuke with you?" she barked. Her fists hit the table and almost made her bowl spill everywhere.

"Calm down a bit, would you?" Rin said tiredly. "He's my coach after all. That's why I wanted to talk about it with you before he does. Actually, we wonder if you would want to come with us."

Gou fell back on her chair as if she had just seen her favourite singer entering her home and asking her out on a date. Where the hell had they gotten that ridiculous idea to begin with? She couldn't leave Iwami for god’s sake! All her life was here. Her friend, her lover, her studies...

"You'll make new friends there. Mom told me she was okay with this, and that English was one of your best subjects at school. You'll get used to it, and eventually I'm sure you'll adore Australia as much as I did. Think about it for a second, what do you have here if Sousuke leaves with me? Do you want to spend the rest of your life stuck in here?"

She stayed silent for at least a couple of minute, and Rin patiently waited for her to think the whole thing over and over. He had always been the impulsive one of the two, but he knew his sister like the back of his hand.

"How long before you go?" Gou eventually asked.

"We'd like to leave in two weeks. Do you think it's enough time for you to make your decision?"

"Have you talked about it with Haru?"

Considering the pain, twisting his brother's handsome face into a grimace, Gou guessed the answer alone and immediately regretted her boldness. Rin sighed; it was his turn to lean on his chair wholly.

"You know, back when I was a kid I kept thinking about dad, about his dream. I wanted so much to achieve what he couldn't. I wanted to do the thing he had to give up on because of me - of us, of his family. I knew it was stupid, but I was only five and I would have given everything I had to have the chance to only brush past that dream of his. And then, I met Haru. My dream changed when our worlds collided. I caught myself thinking that I'd never have a chance to be with him, that it was just another stupid dream, but he proved me wrong. I had tasted both of my lifetime dreams by the time I was only 18, something I would have never have imagined to be possible. And now I’m forced to choose between the two of them."

Gou listened to him religiously, her eyes never leaving his face.

"And so, who did you choose?" she demanded, and tried as hard as she could to hide the fear of not hearing the answer she desperately wanted for the both of them. It was just an aberration. Why would they make him choose?

Rin's face broke into a tragic smile. "He didn't give me that opportunity," he said simply.

Suddenly Gou couldn't look at her brother's face anymore. She resumed eating her cereals, only to find she was not hungry at all.

 

Back in Tokyo Haru was packing his things. He had found a new place in a different district, closer to the club where he would train from that point on - a place where Rin had never gone to, never kissed him, never loved him. This was going to be his new start, a new jump in the void, and this time no one would be holding his hand during the fall.

He already missed him. It ached in his flesh, in his bones; Rin's absence hurt him more than a thousand invisible needles piercing his skin at once.

But he had made his decision. Never again he would go through that nightmare.

His phone vibrated in his pocket. It was a message from Gou; curious he opened it - he had deleted all of Rin's messages, even if there weren't that many to begin with, to his great dismay.

_"What happened? :'("_ he reads.

What happened couldn't possibly be put into words. He couldn't even explain it to himself.

He just knew he didn’t want it anymore.

 

 

 

 

#### I - Japan (The End)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand this is where the story really begings.

**Author's Note:**

> For those who are wondering, Haru died in his sleep from a painless cause.  
> The next chapter will come soon and with it, the real start of the story.


End file.
